Anxiety affects certain aspects of my day-to-day life. Whether it be school or friends my anxiety loves to take control. The title of this blog, "Anxiety and _______." shows how my anxiety follows me throughout my life "anxiety and school" or "anxiety and friends" etc...
Here are six of the biggest "places" where anxiety affects my life:
FRIENDS→ Whenever anyone asks me about my friends or anything along the lines about friendship I always tell them, " my friends are either over the age of seventeen or younger than seven." It sounds funny but it's so true. I have probably two or three friends my age and grade. I used to think this was a bad thing but I actually love it. The thing that really sucks when it comes to my anxiety and my friends is that if I see them hanging out with another friend I think I did something wrong or messed up or they don't like me or something. My anxiety also gets in the way because I tend to always be the one that texts first and wants to hang out and it's never reciprocated it feels like. I don't know if that's really anxiety or something but I just wanted to share that.
SCHOOL→ If I were to make a pie chart about the things that gave me the most anxiety, school would take up a good chunk. Between classes and teachers school is my least favorite place to be. Here's the thing. I ask a lot of questions. Sometimes my questions come at not the right time and that upsets teachers. But, when you tell a student to not ask questions you're limiting their learning and making this girl anxious to raise her hand. Not only does asking questions cause me anxiety but just walking through the halls gives me anxiety. Wondering if I wore the right thing or if my bra is showing or if I look funny or if my mascara is running or if students can tell I just cried etc...
BOYS→ The dreaded topic. HAHA. Here's the thing. I've kissed a lot of frogs. Let's just say that. But I've never really been in a relationship. But whenever I talk to guys I get anxious because I don't want to say the wrong thing or anything. I talk a lot and not a lot of people like that. But that doesn't stop this anxious worm from talking. I scare them off. I know the "right one" won't be scared off by me being me but still...idk if I'll ever find someone willing to take on me and my anxiety... anyway enough about boys.
TEXTING→ Literally every time I text any message I immediately regret it or want to "fix it". I could just text the words, "Hi! How are you?" and a million thoughts would race through my head. Like, "Don't annoy them Olivia" or " They don't like you why did you text them that?" etc... Especially when they don't respond back I think I did something wrong all the time. It's the worst. Usually now I just call people. That works a little better. A little.
FAMILY→ I love my family. Close family, extended family, family friends, etc... But damn it anxiety could you just let me enjoy them and not push them away. I always feel like I say the wrong thing. Strangers, friends, co workers and even family. I just wish my anxious thoughts could go away when I'm with family. That would be wonderful. Like just take a break dude. Save if for other people but not these guys. These guys are too good for anxious Olivia.
Love,
Olivia
Here are six of the biggest "places" where anxiety affects my life:
BOYS→ The dreaded topic. HAHA. Here's the thing. I've kissed a lot of frogs. Let's just say that. But I've never really been in a relationship. But whenever I talk to guys I get anxious because I don't want to say the wrong thing or anything. I talk a lot and not a lot of people like that. But that doesn't stop this anxious worm from talking. I scare them off. I know the "right one" won't be scared off by me being me but still...idk if I'll ever find someone willing to take on me and my anxiety... anyway enough about boys.
TEXTING→ Literally every time I text any message I immediately regret it or want to "fix it". I could just text the words, "Hi! How are you?" and a million thoughts would race through my head. Like, "Don't annoy them Olivia" or " They don't like you why did you text them that?" etc... Especially when they don't respond back I think I did something wrong all the time. It's the worst. Usually now I just call people. That works a little better. A little.
PARTIES/EVENTS→ So this topic is kinda funny because I don't and have never been to a high school party. I actually don't go out a lot with people. I don't like to go out to eat a lot because I always worry that I might get sick and be in the bathroom for awhile and/or die. I used to think I was an extrovert and after my junior year I am most definitely introverted.
FAMILY→ I love my family. Close family, extended family, family friends, etc... But damn it anxiety could you just let me enjoy them and not push them away. I always feel like I say the wrong thing. Strangers, friends, co workers and even family. I just wish my anxious thoughts could go away when I'm with family. That would be wonderful. Like just take a break dude. Save if for other people but not these guys. These guys are too good for anxious Olivia.
Love,
Olivia
Comments
Post a Comment