Texting

Texting is a daily struggle for me. Whether it be me debating to send or not to send a text, if I should "double text", if I should even text this person, if I should wait until a better time, etc... Their's literally a thousand questions that go through my mind every time I'm texting someone or waiting for someone to respond to me. I get this idea in my head that the person I'm talking with doesn't actually want to talk to me even though they're giving no signals of the sorts.

I want to shut my brain off after I send texts or call someone because, I always overthink everything I just said and apologize for nothing. Absolutely nothing. NOTHING. Not everyone is like me and responds quickly and shows a lot of emotion and so it's hard for me when I'm not reciprocated that same way. I wish people were more like me and understood where I was coming from but that's just not how life works. Everyone is different, I get that but it still sucks... I don't know if that was phrased right...anyway...

I love talking to people and seeing how people are doing but oh my gosh my anxious self can't stop apologizing for asking how someone's day was. UGH!! I care so much about the people in my life and want them to know I care but then I get all insecure thinking I asked the wrong question or said the wrong thing.

People tell me that I'm just being Olivia when I send double or triple texts. That's it's apart of my personality in some way. I don't want it to be apart of my personalty. I want to disregard all emotions when I'm texting someone and just keep it simple. But nooooooooo, anxiety has another way.

This. This is what my anxiety looks like.

Love, Olivia