rip theatre

* crying as I type this *
** should be doing homework but yeah**

Since ninth grade I thought I would go to college for a musical theatre degree.

But, dreams change. Or die. Or both. Let's go with both.

But for some reason I keep getting down on myself that I'm not going after the theatre dream. I don't find passion on the stage anymore, I find it through kids and people and all sorts of things. Sure, I love theatre, I always will. I just don't see it as a career anymore. And this has been something I've really been struggling with since last year honestly.

It's hard for me to accept what I know deep down is true. But that other voice inside my head keeps saying how I failed and how I didn't try hard enough or blah blah blah...

I've really been praying about this and I really feel that God is calling me to bigger and better things.    (or at least that's what I keep telling myself)

I'll always have theatre in my life. It just might look different than I imagined 4 years ago.

Basically, all this has been on my mind since last year and it's still hard to cope with. I still love the stage but not in the same way I used to. I don't know what changed. Well, I do. I finally allowed myself to have a passion for other things besides theatre.

I don't know guys. This is all so hard for me and part of me thinks that its hard because I'm making the wrong decision???? But, I know that's not true. It's hard but also exciting knowing theirs more out there for me than one thing. That I'm good at more than one thing and passionate about more than one thing.

I want to help kids, talk to adults, make a PowerPoint, manage a campaign, design an IKEA showroom, be a PR person for the Minnesota Wild, be a mom, and so much more. It cracks me up that I ever thought I could only pursue one thing or do one thing. Because that's not true AT ALL.


If anyone has any advice, stories, prayers, or pictures to share that would be cool.